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Nervous about giving birth for the first time...Help!!

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  • Last Post 17 June 2019
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Anna posted this 17 June 2019

Hello everyone,

I'm a mommy to be. Next month is my due date and I'm super nervous as this is my first pregnancy. My stomach is huge and I just don't know how my vagina is going to survive this. I'm nervous about contractions and having to push out the head of the baby. Is there any advice I can take to prep myself? Is there anything that I should brace myself for that I might not expect? 

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Imogen posted this 27 September 2019

My due date is in TWENTY DAYS. We're in the same boat sweetie

Sucre posted this 27 September 2019

Hey There,

Your feelings are not without merit. Here is what I can tell you... the first time you give birth some of your fear is based on the unknown. Your vagina will survive and it will help to remember that millions of women do this everyday, often without pain meds and in a variety of conditions. Just channel the thought of the wide variety of women who have done this before you. Every delivery is different!

Great nurses are like a god send. Hopefully you have a great set of nurses and are at a good facility. You can do this... it's going to be somewhat challenging but you can so do this!!!!

Rose posted this 26 September 2019

I could not agree more with "take your birth plan and shred it"....with my first pregnancy, I thought for certain that I'd be fine and have a "normal" vaginal birth....WRONG....pushed for an eternity to learn that baby was sunny side up and they were not able to rotate her and both her heart rate and mine went down...so they did an emergency c-section. Though it was very hard to go through, I didn't worry or stress. i just let it all happen and everything was fine in the end.

I am going to be completely honest. Take your birth plan, and shred it. I feel as though labor tends to go the exact opposite of how your hope and dream for it to. With that being said, take some deep breaths, you got this Mama!

Jude posted this 26 September 2019

Do you plan on getting an epidural? My labor and childbirth experience was so easy, I was worried for nothing. I didn't even feel contractions. The worst part was getting my IV. I had to get a c section, so the recovery process was really painful, but at that point I already had my baby earthside so I wasn't too worried about it.

Katya posted this 26 September 2019

Hi, Anna! Another first time mommy so I'm here for the same reason. Thanks for posting xo

Holly posted this 26 September 2019

Honestly, the biggest thing that helped me was trying to relax as much as possible. When you're tense and anxious your body tenses up and makes everything harder.
For my first, it was so much easier than I had anticipated. Know that it's a natural thing for your body to do and try to work with it instead of against it. You'll do great!

Gina posted this 24 July 2019

Just be ready for anything.  It is scary, but at least for me, I felt determined - like, ok, I have to get through this and deliver this baby, there is no alternative.  If you have a good doctor they will do what they can to keep you from tearing.  I needed a couple of internal stitches but did not tear externally, phew!  Contractions suck, but my advice is to just get the epidural as soon as they'll give it to you (I've done it with and without - IMO there's no need to be a hero, I much preferred the medicated experience).

Hayley posted this 22 July 2019

I'm taking birth classes! I'm super nervous too, its normal.

Madisyn posted this 22 July 2019

Try to remember some birth affirmations! Remember the pain is temporary and it's so worth it.

Kaylie posted this 22 July 2019

Honestly, birth was extremely easy for me with an epidural.

Heather posted this 21 July 2019

When you are there in the moment you wont even be thinking about being scared! It is a beautiful experience.  I was terrified leading up to labor and birth and honestly it was painful but it was also amazing. I have found myself wishing i could even relive it because it was such a beautiful experience. I can't wait to have another. 

Adrianna posted this 07 July 2019

The thing that really helped prep me (as much as possible) was reading positive birth stories - Ina May Gaskin's "Guide to Childbirth" is FABULOUS. Or, like Violet said, watching live birth videos if you're not a reader. Honestly, knowing it was going to be really hard to relax, but also that relaxing would help me give birth easier was helpful. It's what I concentrated on through every contraction. Have one or two support people (not doctors, nurses, or midwives) like your SO, mom, friend... the support makes ALL the difference!! If you don't have someone to rely on in your life, hire a doula. 

Violet posted this 07 July 2019

Yep everyone said it.  There is no way to be 100% prepared because every pregnancy and every body is different, however if you really want to see different experiences you can watch live birth videos if you feel that would help? I know it's cheesy, but you really do need to breathe through the pain. I was wound so tight with my first thinking , naively, that it wasn't going to take that long. lol But as others said, it doesn't last forever! And you'll be an entirely new woman after it is all said and done. Good luck!  

Heather posted this 22 June 2019

Everyone gets nervous. I was surprised when they had me turn over on my hands and knees with my first one. The pooping thing was scary but in that moment you don't care and the nurses do not care either. Just focus on breathing and pushing. Just know you won't remember most of it after the fact. 

Nydia posted this 21 June 2019

My gynecologist told me that sitting up during childbirth is the easiest way. It’s less harsh on your vaginal area. No one can tell you what to do because only you can know what is best for your body. Everyone is different but you should probably strongly consider an epidural πŸ˜‚

Jennifer posted this 18 June 2019

I am going to be completely honest. Take your birth plan, and shred it. I feel as though labor tends to go the exact opposite of how your hope and dream for it to. With that being said, take some deep breaths, you got this Mama!

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Mary posted this 18 June 2019

Everyone else already said all of the things that I would say except to say a definite yes to all of it, especially what Rachel said about there not being a right or wrong way.  I feel like people get really hung up on birth plans and I personally think that the best plan is to have a healthy baby and stay healthy yourself, by whatever means necessary.  Good luck! You got this!

Anna posted this 18 June 2019

 You are right I need to focus on what I want as my end result. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I really do appreciate it. πŸ˜Š 

I'm not going to lie and tell you that giving birth is easy, it's not. But, you CAN do it, one way or another. The best advice I can offer is to go in with an idea of what you want to happen, but be willing to change the plan if necessary. There is no right or wrong way to give birth, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself to have a certain kind of delivery. Be gentle with yourself after the birth as well, your body will need time to recover, so accept any help that others offer and ask for what you need from family and friends so that you can just focus on your recovery and your baby. Congratulations and good luck!

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Anna posted this 18 June 2019

Thank you for your honesty and encouraging words. I don't know if it's because of my hormones but I'm over here tearing up over your reply. 😭 Thank you for the advise. And yes, I'm usually a crazy person who wants to do it all herself...it's true! I don't usually like asking for help but I know that you're right, it takes a village. 

My best advice is to tell you that it is probably exactly as hard as you are imagining.  It's also not going to last forever, even though it feels like it is.  Your life is about to change in the most radical way and at the end of the delivery, you are going to meet the most amazing person you have ever laid eyes on and the rest won't matter.  Recovery is hard, but you will get through it and after a few weeks, things will start to look up.  Accept all the help you are offered (you will feel SO guilty, but do it anyway), nap whenever you can and ASK for help when you need it.  It really does take a village. Doing it all by yourself doesn't make you a saint, it makes you CRAZY    Just remember, people, myself included, do this more than once.  It is hard but it is worth it.  Good luck, mama!  You were literally made to do this.

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rachel posted this 18 June 2019

I'm not going to lie and tell you that giving birth is easy, it's not. But, you CAN do it, one way or another. The best advice I can offer is to go in with an idea of what you want to happen, but be willing to change the plan if necessary. There is no right or wrong way to give birth, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself to have a certain kind of delivery. Be gentle with yourself after the birth as well, your body will need time to recover, so accept any help that others offer and ask for what you need from family and friends so that you can just focus on your recovery and your baby. Congratulations and good luck!

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