I am so sorry. I think one of the mistakes I made was not letting myself properly grieve, which made it impossible to really take care of myself. It's ok to not be ok. I think many times pregnancy loss is something society sort of glosses over, but thankfully it seems to really be getting more widely talked about.
It's not easy for many people, women or men. I think if you can find someone who you do feel comfortable sharing with, that could help. I have a very tightknit group of loss mommas, and we've all been a group for about 9 years now, and I honestly don't know what I would have done without those ladies. They're the ones I could actually talk about being pregnant with before I wanted to announce publicly. They were the ones I would go to when another friend posted their positive pregnancy test while the pee was still wet and it just served as a reminder to me that my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to.
Be prepared for certain milestones to be really hard. My due date was rough, and even 9 years later, I always think about my munchkin I never got to know on March 5th.
One thing I found helped was the ability to take a mini-vacation. We packed up and went and stayed with my sister and bro-in-law and just hung by the pool, went out on the boat, and I didn't have to try to keep up pretenses at work. Do what you need to take care of yourself. If that means sitting in a warm shower on the floor crying, that's ok. If that's eating an entire tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream, splurge for the good stuff. You're allowed to grieve.
Check around your local community and see if there's a support group or organization if you feel like you need someone professionally trained to talk to. Just know you aren't alone, and I'm sure there are many ladies on these forums who are more than willing and able to be there for you. Sometimes it's easier to open up to internet strangers than the people we know in real life.