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My Boyfriend Won't Change Diapers

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  • Last Post 17 September 2019
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Holly posted this 17 September 2019

Ok, so me and my boyfriend just had a baby. This is my second and his first. He absolutely refuses to change diapers. I am so sick of this crap. What can I do?

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Mandy posted this 18 September 2019

I would lose my mind. First of all both of you made this baby. I would leave the house and go do something for yourself and then he wont have a choice but to change the baby's diaper. Also if you do anything at all for him stop. Make him do his own laundry, cook his own dinner. Until he can help you, stop helping him.

Annie posted this 18 September 2019

Um that's crazy. I would have a serious talk with him about your expectations of how you will parent together. 

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Corrine posted this 18 September 2019

I would have a serious talk with him - maybe talk about things he will handle solely on his own if he absolutely won't change diapers. But, he must step up when necessary.

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Sarah posted this 18 September 2019

HELL NO. We didn't make these babies by ourselves. I would have someone else talk to him if you're not getting through. Maybe a guy friend who is also a dad so he knows whats the norm?

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Holly posted this 18 September 2019

Mandy, I like your answer lol. I thought it was funny, but honestly think it would just make things worse. I'll try getting his buddy Jimmy to talk to him, he has three kids so maybe he'll talk some sense into him. He is acting like a complete ass about it.

I would lose my mind. First of all both of you made this baby. I would leave the house and go do something for yourself and then he wont have a choice but to change the baby's diaper. Also if you do anything at all for him stop. Make him do his own laundry, cook his own dinner. Until he can help you, stop helping him.

Charlene posted this 19 September 2019

I don't even understand that. Does he want to contribute at all to raising your child?! UGH.

Leigh posted this 19 September 2019

One day he  will be alone in public with the baby and have to face a blowout  diaper all by himself and regret not having practice at home. 

Becky posted this 20 September 2019

Bahahahah Leigh... sometimes the public diaper blow outs require so much problem solving, guts and focus. It's like dealing with an emergency of the bowels. It would serve him right to be broken in this way though.

Are there other things he is willing to do???? Diapers made me squeamish initially but on the millionth diaper change I realized that I was a bit of a pro.

Daisy posted this 20 September 2019

If you have not already, I would sit down and talk to him about the subject and issue. I don't think there is a good reason for any man or woman to say they won't help change their own child's diapers....but maybe asking him why he won't change diapers....will open some doors to communication. If anything, he needs to understand, you NEED his support and that changing your own child's diaper is actually a very intimate and bonding type of experience as a parent. You learn a lot about your child and not to mention....it sometimes helps you as a parent to pay attention to the health of the child. 

I hope everything gets better!

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Nadia posted this 22 September 2019

My initial reaction was disgust and I was gonna say "Fire him!" But now that I have thought about it ... we all have things that make us cringe that others find easy and mundane. The human mind is such that it may date back to an incident that he can't even recall. 

This is not ideal but remember we are all flawed individuals. Perhaps when you do talk to him you can come from that angle rather than frustration. Also at some point as Leigh pointed out, he will be alone with a child wearing diapers that require changing, so it's better he start thinking about how to face the music now.

Sucre posted this 23 September 2019

Ummmm, that sounds dreadful but while we are slowly and gently reminding him of his responsibilities to the child he helped create lets make a list of things he is willing to do:


Help with late night bottle feedings while mommy gets rest perhaps

Cooking several meals a week 

Lots of extra help around the house

Generous amount of foot and backrubs


I guess everyone has different strengths and maybe there are other ways he can compensate for his dirty diaper phobia???

Sage posted this 24 September 2019

Yikes, I don't know how to handle this one like a rational adult because I would flip my lid.

Sucre posted this 24 September 2019

Let him observe a million diaper changes for a while. Hopefully and eventually the reservations he feels towards diaper changes will wear off and he will contribute as a good parent to the care and clean up of his child.

Megan posted this 25 September 2019

This My husband did not change very many diapers. The dirty ones physically made him ill. He did change wet ones without issue. 

Ummmm, that sounds dreadful but while we are slowly and gently reminding him of his responsibilities to the child he helped create lets make a list of things he is willing to do:


Help with late night bottle feedings while mommy gets rest perhaps

Cooking several meals a week 

Lots of extra help around the house

Generous amount of foot and backrubs


I guess everyone has different strengths and maybe there are other ways he can compensate for his dirty diaper phobia???

Willow posted this 25 September 2019

Maybe you could communicate with him on a serious level and let him know that you both need to talk about things and come up with a compromise/solution. It would be what I would do. Hope this helps. 

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Lilliana posted this 25 September 2019

Oh, no! I can't imagine how that feels but I hope he figures it out soon. Putting up a fight definitely won't help your cause, but a heart to heart should do the trick.

karlie posted this 29 September 2019

Oh my, that's awful! Bring to his attention that if he refuses to change diapers then he is accepting the fact that he will never be able to watch or take the child anywhere by himself. If he doesn't know how to properly care for the child then he cannot expect to be able to ever care for the little one on his own. A mother should be able to rely on the father to care for their little one if need be, and refusing to change a diaper is refusing to care for a child. 

Megan posted this 29 September 2019

I'm wondering if Holly has made any progress with the diaper changes

Alaska posted this 03 October 2019

What is he going to do when you aren't there to change the diaper?

olivia posted this 12 October 2019

Is there a reason? I agree with what everyone else has sad,its time for a serious talk.  

Anna posted this 31 October 2019

This is unfortunate.  In this day and age, how would a person not even want to TRY.  Does it gross him out? Even a pee diaper?  Is there something more to this?

Tulip posted this 31 October 2019

Okay... I was initially ready to join in the bashing. BUT... we all have phobias, flaws and things that make us cringe. 

The thought of poopy diapers was really really gross to me initially but now, a million diapers later... I do not care.

As long as he is making progress even by watching how diapers are changed. Exposure helps with all irrational fears. Is he a good father in other ways and is he willing to do other fatherly things?

Teresa posted this 19 November 2019

This seems like quite the hot topic.  I don't see what the big deal is, once a person does it a few times.  It should be natural - is it because it can be "gross" or is there something more to it? My wish is for more dads/men/parents to view that changing diaper time as opportunities for grow - for the child.  There is so much interaction that can occur - singing, story (to get them to stay still), etc.  It's really just another opportunity to bond.  

Chris posted this 20 November 2019

Most men won't change a baby dipper less they really have to most the time its the mothers job but if the mother ant around then the men has to do it . But all men ant the same tho some will and some won't they think it's nasty but yea thats true but the dipper has to be changed on a baby tho . 

Liz posted this 16 December 2019

I would just tell him it's his turn. I would also leave him with the kid for two hours and he will be forces to. Remind him that he made the baby too. Stay strong - you go this! 

Mallory posted this 18 December 2019

You need to have a talk with him ASAP and make your expectations very very clear.   Two people made this baby, so he needs to step up!

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Erin posted this 25 January 2020

He should not be allowed to act like this. What if you have to leave for hours? Does he allow the baby to get diaper rash or just wait? It's unreasonable and childish. He made the baby and should be just as involved as you. Not acceptable!

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Rachelle posted this 25 January 2020

Well...I don't understand this at all...but maybe if he absolutely won't change diapers, maybe he can be in charge of something else. Like all of the night time feedings? Or all of the night time baths? Something that could make a reasonable compromise, perhaps?

Lisa posted this 26 January 2020

thats so weird in my opinion.. does he have a reason why? is there anything else he could do that would help out so you arent stuck doing it all? diaper changes are fast and are gonna go on for a long time so its really not fair to you.

Jane posted this 10 February 2020

make him do it!

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Jade posted this 10 February 2020

You make him do it... it's his baby too. What would the poor baby do if you were out shopping and the baby was with dad? Believe me, my boyfriend hates diaper duty but he hates the thought of his kids in dirty diapers more. 

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Fiona posted this 14 February 2020

I feel like this might be related to fear? My husband was always will to do things but expressed his nerves with things like bath time,etc. We worked together to learn and grow as a team and now he is much more confident. Still, there are things he prefers not to do and things I would rather handle. 

Polyana posted this 25 February 2020

OMG!! Is this a male issue? I have experienced this and have heard this from at least 3 of my friends about their husbands and boyfriends. I know mine is squeamish about possibly getting poop on his hands while changing our little onw, but he doesn't even change the pee diapers-- so I have attributed this to pure laziness!! He won't bathe or dress the baby either-- so ANNOYING!! Sometimes this makes me feel like a single mom. So over it!!

I now schedule my spa appointments every other weekend, so those are daddy daycare Saturdays and he's forced to feed, change, dress or whatever the baby needs while I'm away. BUTTT-- there have been a few occasions when I still come back to poop diapers that have been sitting for a bit that I know he just didn't want to change. Just horrible!!

Polyana posted this 25 February 2020

How is it  any different than men wiping their own butts? I don't get it!!

Most men won't change a baby dipper less they really have to most the time its the mothers job but if the mother ant around then the men has to do it . But all men ant the same tho some will and some won't they think it's nasty but yea thats true but the dipper has to be changed on a baby tho . 

Lydia posted this 26 February 2020

I am in the same boat unfortunately he does not even help with baths, teeth brushing, feeding or anything at all. 

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