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My Boyfriend Won't Change Diapers

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Holly posted this 17 September 2019

Ok, so me and my boyfriend just had a baby. This is my second and his first. He absolutely refuses to change diapers. I am so sick of this crap. What can I do?

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Mandy posted this 18 September 2019

I would lose my mind. First of all both of you made this baby. I would leave the house and go do something for yourself and then he wont have a choice but to change the baby's diaper. Also if you do anything at all for him stop. Make him do his own laundry, cook his own dinner. Until he can help you, stop helping him.

Annie posted this 18 September 2019

Um that's crazy. I would have a serious talk with him about your expectations of how you will parent together. 

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Corrine posted this 18 September 2019

I would have a serious talk with him - maybe talk about things he will handle solely on his own if he absolutely won't change diapers. But, he must step up when necessary.

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Sarah posted this 18 September 2019

HELL NO. We didn't make these babies by ourselves. I would have someone else talk to him if you're not getting through. Maybe a guy friend who is also a dad so he knows whats the norm?

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Holly posted this 18 September 2019

Mandy, I like your answer lol. I thought it was funny, but honestly think it would just make things worse. I'll try getting his buddy Jimmy to talk to him, he has three kids so maybe he'll talk some sense into him. He is acting like a complete ass about it.

I would lose my mind. First of all both of you made this baby. I would leave the house and go do something for yourself and then he wont have a choice but to change the baby's diaper. Also if you do anything at all for him stop. Make him do his own laundry, cook his own dinner. Until he can help you, stop helping him.

Charlene posted this 19 September 2019

I don't even understand that. Does he want to contribute at all to raising your child?! UGH.

Leigh posted this 19 September 2019

One day he  will be alone in public with the baby and have to face a blowout  diaper all by himself and regret not having practice at home. 

Becky posted this 5 weeks ago

Bahahahah Leigh... sometimes the public diaper blow outs require so much problem solving, guts and focus. It's like dealing with an emergency of the bowels. It would serve him right to be broken in this way though.

Are there other things he is willing to do???? Diapers made me squeamish initially but on the millionth diaper change I realized that I was a bit of a pro.

Daisy posted this 5 weeks ago

If you have not already, I would sit down and talk to him about the subject and issue. I don't think there is a good reason for any man or woman to say they won't help change their own child's diapers....but maybe asking him why he won't change diapers....will open some doors to communication. If anything, he needs to understand, you NEED his support and that changing your own child's diaper is actually a very intimate and bonding type of experience as a parent. You learn a lot about your child and not to mention....it sometimes helps you as a parent to pay attention to the health of the child. 

I hope everything gets better!

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Nadia posted this 4 weeks ago

My initial reaction was disgust and I was gonna say "Fire him!" But now that I have thought about it ... we all have things that make us cringe that others find easy and mundane. The human mind is such that it may date back to an incident that he can't even recall. 

This is not ideal but remember we are all flawed individuals. Perhaps when you do talk to him you can come from that angle rather than frustration. Also at some point as Leigh pointed out, he will be alone with a child wearing diapers that require changing, so it's better he start thinking about how to face the music now.

Sucre posted this 4 weeks ago

Ummmm, that sounds dreadful but while we are slowly and gently reminding him of his responsibilities to the child he helped create lets make a list of things he is willing to do:


Help with late night bottle feedings while mommy gets rest perhaps

Cooking several meals a week 

Lots of extra help around the house

Generous amount of foot and backrubs


I guess everyone has different strengths and maybe there are other ways he can compensate for his dirty diaper phobia???

Sage posted this 4 weeks ago

Yikes, I don't know how to handle this one like a rational adult because I would flip my lid.

Sucre posted this 4 weeks ago

Let him observe a million diaper changes for a while. Hopefully and eventually the reservations he feels towards diaper changes will wear off and he will contribute as a good parent to the care and clean up of his child.

Megan posted this 4 weeks ago

This My husband did not change very many diapers. The dirty ones physically made him ill. He did change wet ones without issue. 

Ummmm, that sounds dreadful but while we are slowly and gently reminding him of his responsibilities to the child he helped create lets make a list of things he is willing to do:


Help with late night bottle feedings while mommy gets rest perhaps

Cooking several meals a week 

Lots of extra help around the house

Generous amount of foot and backrubs


I guess everyone has different strengths and maybe there are other ways he can compensate for his dirty diaper phobia???

Willow posted this 4 weeks ago

Maybe you could communicate with him on a serious level and let him know that you both need to talk about things and come up with a compromise/solution. It would be what I would do. Hope this helps. 

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Lilliana posted this 4 weeks ago

Oh, no! I can't imagine how that feels but I hope he figures it out soon. Putting up a fight definitely won't help your cause, but a heart to heart should do the trick.

karlie posted this 3 weeks ago

Oh my, that's awful! Bring to his attention that if he refuses to change diapers then he is accepting the fact that he will never be able to watch or take the child anywhere by himself. If he doesn't know how to properly care for the child then he cannot expect to be able to ever care for the little one on his own. A mother should be able to rely on the father to care for their little one if need be, and refusing to change a diaper is refusing to care for a child. 

Megan posted this 3 weeks ago

I'm wondering if Holly has made any progress with the diaper changes

Alaska posted this 3 weeks ago

What is he going to do when you aren't there to change the diaper?

olivia posted this 2 weeks ago

Is there a reason? I agree with what everyone else has sad,its time for a serious talk.  

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