husband waiting for perfect time to start family

  • Last Post 23 January 2020
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liz posted this 18 December 2018

My husband and I have been married for 2 years.  I am ready to start our family, but he wants to make sure we are financially well off before we have kids.  We are not rich but we are comfortable enough.   I'm afraid that he will wait for he is waiting for a perfect moment that will never come. How do I convince him that there is no perfect time?  

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Sandra posted this 28 August 2019

Their will unfortunatley never be a perfect time. Just be open and honest with each other and you'll figure it out.

Melody posted this 01 June 2019

It's a myth!! The time is not ever right girl 😂 that being said, there's plenty of things I wish I'd done before I had my kids but at the same time there are things I'm experiencing with them that make my life complete. 

Hannah posted this 01 June 2019

There is never a perfect time. There is always something else you can do, always something to save money for, always something you want, that makes you wait to have kids. Ask yourself really how old do you want to be when you go through this because it will be an experience that lasts a lifetime. 

Courtney posted this 25 May 2019

We got married at the beginning of my senior year in college...and managed to get pregnant right away despite being safe. It was meant to be. It was a struggle and I managed to graduate early to get through it but...it was a struggle. My family is very religious so they weren't exactly super supportive. I wouldn't give up my son for the world though and after a couple years we were ready to try for a girl...and got one! 

Eva posted this 23 May 2019

This has been really hard for us too. We have gone back and forth about when would be a good time. We did agree to wait a bit a while ago until we had some things paid off. Now we feel like we're in a better place and ready to start making a family.

Becca posted this 23 May 2019

Being ready is never really a thing. You can  prepare all you want but when that baby is in your arms it's a whole new ball game! I don't think anything can truly prepare you for being a parent!

Patricia posted this 22 May 2019

There really is no perfect time...but perhaps he would be willing to not NOT prevent a pregnancy since you guys are at least not strapped for money. It can take some time to conceive, so perhaps he will be willing to try nonetheless.

Jasmine posted this 22 May 2019

You will never be totally ready! Streamline your finances, declutter to make room for another human in your house, and think about some big logistics like child care and work schedules. But if you wait until your life is perfect, you'll never start!

Jane posted this 22 May 2019

I feel for you. We have been married for 8 years and have gone back and forth on it for so long that at this point we are content (or probably settling) on just BEING US.  But that came after a period of not wanting what we had and not wanting US. So basically, a person could wait too long and regret.

Mickey posted this 22 May 2019

A lot of questions we can ask ourselves can make our heads spin.  It would be best to find out if one's spouse is dealing with their own inclinations about the topic, and maybe is has less to do with you (applies to anyone) than you might think.  Meaning, maybe a spouse is fearful of how they will be a parent, or assume they will lose a big part of themselves or lose the current relationship as they know it.

Mel posted this 22 April 2019

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. Although your question was from a few months ago, I think this could be really valuable for you.  Think about if you have any aspect in your life that you are willing to give up?  IS there anything you have to seemingly give up to have kids?  Would you have to give it up during pregnancy or not until the baby comes?  Is it a behavior, habit, or even a way of communication?  Is it a lifestyle or some items you enjoy spending money on?  There are so many questions.  I am in the same boat.  It's not about whether there is enough money, but if there was not, you will probably both say NO, not right now.  Right?  Maybe the more direct and valuable question is -what will we have to give up? If anything? And are we ok with that? Maybe then you will see what room there is - for a little one.  

Mia posted this 03 March 2019

I feel like we all want that magic alarm that rings when it's time but it never actually rings. A big thing is being financially prepared.

Donna posted this 02 March 2019

There is no such thing as the perfect time to start a family......

Chera posted this 16 January 2019

I'm not sure there is a perfect time and I agree with Kayleigh that you should understand more of what his perfect time looks like.  We waited to start trying until after we were both finished with our masters and at least had school behind us. 

Kayleigh posted this 16 January 2019

I would ask him what exactly he think constitutes the "right time" and then maybe the two of you can come to an agreement 

Chelsea posted this 15 January 2019

There is not perfect time! But there are certainly bad times to bring a baby into this world. It sounds like you and your husband are ready, he just doesn’t know it yet

Lacey posted this 15 January 2019

Maybe he’s not ready. I would definitely ask him a few questions to see if it’s not really something else. 

Lynn posted this 14 January 2019

There is no perfect timing . Tell him you are ready and now is the perfect timing . 

Jolene posted this 27 December 2018

You can let him that there is no such thing as the perfect time! People are never really ready. 

dayna posted this 24 December 2018

There really isn't a "perfect" time as some have already said. With my hubby and I...we did wait and started trying when he wanted to (even though I was ready before then)....however we were disappointed when it didn't happen quickly for us. Over a year to conceive! So maybe see if he is open to not trying but not preventing for a bit? 

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