20 Weeks and Paranoid About Baby's Paternity

  • Last Post 29 April 2019
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Gina posted this 29 April 2019

I'm currently mentoring someone in my church's young mom's program and stuck with how to help her. She's just past 20 weeks and unsure who her child's father may be. I think there's a test that can be done, but I'm not sure how safe it is. What are some things I can do to try to support her through this journey? It's a sticky situation because there's a very involved partner in the picture. My heart wants to tell her to do the right thing and come clean, but my head is telling me otherwise. What advice would you give?

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Lisa posted this 29 April 2019

My best advice is to not go into the conversation with an air of judgment. That rubs off on people quickly. No one knows what she was going through at the time except for her. Solidly lead her through faith, as your program is intended. You can't tell her what to do and what not to do. You can only guide her through examples from the scripture. Pick several passages that can give her solace and go from there. Never give advice unless she asks explicitly for it. Even then, keep it non-judgmental. She needs a friend - not a jury.

Ginger posted this 29 April 2019

Be there for her. Support her. Build her up. Give her examples of text that can comfort her. She's no doubt terrified right now. As a mentor, you're also one to guide her through Christ towards living her most righteous light. You're not supposed to look down on her, however. Make sure you don't come off that way! Of course, honesty is a must in the long-run.

Maya posted this 29 April 2019

I would try to steer her towards her own choice through the Bible. If you push one option more than the other, you're letting your feelings bleed into her decision. She needs to come to that choice on her own. 

Krista posted this 29 April 2019

I would offer her my friendship and emotional support. She needs to seek out her own resolution. She can choose to open up to her partner or wait. It's her own choice.